Proper Protocol for Proposing Marriage – How Not to Get it Wrong and Be Embarrassed Forever
Wne you're proposing to your girlfriend there are certain protocol to follow, here are 6 you should follow, and a seventh you should consider, if you're fortunate enough to need it.
If you’re both lucky and good, proposing marriage is a once in a lifetime thing. You’ll both carry the memories of it with you forever, so it’s best to follow the proper protocol when proposing. No sense in going out of bounds on this one and causing a commotion or embarrassing yourself for all eternity, even if she does say yes. Remember there are plenty of ways to propose correctly, but you want to avoid any big faux pas just the same.
With that in mind, here are some protocol rules, do’s and dont’s that you’ll want to follow.
Rule Numero Uno – Make it uniquely for her. Your proposal should be designed with her unique qualities and personality in mind. Take into account what makes her really happy, what makes her heart go pitter patter, and brings a huge smile to her face. You know what those things are, so use them to your advantage when planning the perfect proposal.
Proposal Protocol Rule Number Two – Do it in person, or at least be there for her reaction. Do not email her, write her a letter if you’re not going to be there when she opens it, any other such thing. You are the one proposing, and you need to be there to take part in the whole thing.
Proposal Protocol Rule Number Three – Don’t be too casual. In some rare occasions you may be able to avoid this one. On the vast majority of occasions, even if the proposal is a somewhat light hearted affair the way you actually speak the words, and the way you present yourself during the actual proposal needs to done with a certain amount of formality.
Proposal Protocol Rule Number Four – Tell her parents first. Unless you’re (or more correctly she) pretty young, you don’t need to actually ask the father’s permission. After all, you are not going to let her parents run your lives, are you? You are both adults, and while it would be very nice to have her parent’s blessings, unless he is a union boss or a mob capo, you’re probably safe.
Proposal Protocol Rule Number Five – This is more for after the actual proposal, but you need to lay the groundwork beforehand. If you bring significant assets into the marriage, get a prenuptial agreement. You certainly don’t have to present her with the document along with the ring, but you should bring up the concept some time before you propose to test the waters. While marriage is meant to be forever, in this day and age that is sadly not always the case.
You need to be prepared for that very unpleasant eventuality, and let her go with just the Mercedes, the condo, and $10K a month. Better to keep the Porsche, the Yacht, and the house in the Hamptons for yourself. It may sound stupid now, when you’re head over heels in love, but hopefully if you had the insight to amass significant assets, you will also be on top of things enough to protect them in case things go sideways in the future.
Proposal Protocol Rule Number Six – This is sort of an extrapolation of rule number one, but make the environment somewhere she is comfortable. For example, if she is uncomfortable with public displays of affection or people focusing all their attention on her, a Yankee Stadium proposal is the wrong choice for you (unless, of course, it is empty). If she is terrified of high places, don’t drag her up do a scenic overlook or high bridge for your proposal, no matter how spectacular the view. Some women may find that setting incredibly romantic, but your girlfriend will just want to get the heck out of there.
Proposal Protocol Rule Number Seven – Select your her engagement ring yourself. After all, if you have her choose it, you’ve pretty much blown the surprise element of the whole occasion haven’t you? If you’re a bit sly, you can find out what she likes in a ring without having her there when you buy it. It also loses some of it’s romance factor when she picks out her own ring. Discretely find out the kind of ring she likes, then buy it yourself. For some great strategies you can use to save money on the engagement ring for her dreams, see my previous post on how to find affordable engagement rings. Check it out now.
Following these seven protocol rules for proposing can help your proposal and give you both fond memories of it for years.
