The Proper Etiquette for Proposing Marriage – 10 Rules to Propose By
What etiquette rules should you follow when proposing marriage? Check out these 10. Follow them and you'll probably do just fine.
Just what is the proper etiquette for proposing marriage? In the past things were much more formal than they tend to be in this day and age. However, just because we have let marriage traditions slip[ a bit does not mean that you should not be a tad old fashioned and follow some rules of etiquette for marriage today.
They are pretty simple, really. When you are going to propose to your girlfriend, just follow these basic rules and you’ll be fine; from an etiquette, perspective of course. You could still stick your foot in your mouth, but that’s another matter entirely!
Proper Etiquette for Proposing Marriage -
1 – Ask her parents. That is something that isn’t done nearly as much as is was in the past. 50 years ago, few guys would have thought to propose without first asking their future father in law for permission to marry their daughters. Oh, how things change. Just because it isn’t as common doesn’t mean that you should not do it. On the contrary, most parents would still very much appreciate you asking them for permission to marry their little girl (even if she’s now 25).
2 – Get her a real engagement ring, and present it to her when you ask her to marry you. Part of the deal is that you slip a ring on her finger when you ask for her hand in marriage. Sure, she loves you with all her heart, but trust me, she’ll be more than a bit disappointed if you omit the part about the ring from your proposal.Make sure you do enough research to know what kind of ring she wants, and even if she wants to help choose it herself. In most cases you’ll be picking it out, but you should still discretely discover what style of ring and what cut of diamond she wants.
The economy isn’t as strong as it was in years gone by, and you’d probably appreciate how to get more for your dollar, even if you plan on spending quite a bit on her ring, so I did a post on strategies to stretch your engagement ring dollars at how to find an affordable engagement ring.
3 – Plan your proposal out. That’s not exactly proper etiquette, but it will help prevent mistakes, and some of the many disasters that can befall a proposal.
4 – Don’t just “pop” the question. Make sure you have discussed the subject of marriage before you actually propose to your girl. Is it something she is ready for? You don’t want to wait too long, but you don’t want to ask too soon either. It is also a good idea to make sure the two of you want the same basic things out of a life together, such as children. Fundamental differences can make short work of a marriage, so it is best to make sure there are not any before you propose.
5 – Make sure you surprise her when actually proposing. Although you may have discussed the subject of marriage before you propose to her, that doesn’t mean you should discuss it over lunch immediately before you ask her. Talk about it in the months leading up to the time that you actually propose to her, but not that day, or even in the same week.
6 – Make it something she will remember, for all the right reasons. Don’t just ask her while waiting in line at Burger King. There are hundreds of great ways to propose. Do something nice for her, or be adventurous, but make sure you give her a proposal that she’ll love and appreciate for the rest of her life. Put some thought into it.
7 – Get down. Not on the dance floor, although that can be a great evening too. Get down on one knee to propose to her. It is a bit of proposal etiquette that dates to the middle ages, and you should do your part to continue it just a bit longer.
8 – Make it private – Except for a few rare women, most girls would rather it be an intimate occasion, not at Yankee stadium in front of 60,000 people. Don’t get me wrong, the stadium proposal is perfect for some women, just not the majority.
9 – Let me count the ways. When you are delivering your proposal, tell her the reasons you want to marry her. Make sure she knows why you chose her, how much she means to you and why you want to spend the rest of your life with her.
10 – Don’t make it take forever. Yes, there are probably a million reasons you want to marry her, but although you should hit the highlights in your proposal, don’t make it go too long. A minute should be long enough in most cases. Make sure you practice your delivery so that you can get it out under pressure, because have no illusions, you will be under pressure.
If you follow these 10 rules of proper etiquette for proposing marriage, you should do just fine. Remember that there are exceptions for every rule, just use some common sense.
