Propose To My Girlfriend

Are you in a bad relationship. If yours is showing any of these signs, fix it or get out, fast!

You may think you’re in a great relationship, but that little voice in the back of your head may be telling you otherwise. There are signs of a bad relationship you can look for to discover if you are involved in a relationship that you may be better off leaving. If you’re contemplating taking it to the next level, or, at the other extreme, think that you should get out, now is the time to find out for sure.

Some of these signs are game changers. If your relationship exhibits even one of them, pack your bags and head for the door. Why have you waited so long already? Others, though may point to some things you need to work on together before you just hit the road. If you can’t fix them, then ending the relationship is the best solution, but don’t throw out the baby with the bath water just yet.

Here are the signs of a bad relationship that point to an early exit. If yours shows any of these, hit the ground running, and don’t look back. Chances are that it won’t ever get better, and even if there is a small chance that it can, the risks are just too great for you.

Sign 1 – Physical abuse – If you’re being physically abused, you probably use all manner of rationalization to keep yourself in your relationship, or it is the fear factor that holds you back, but it is time to go, and go now. You may think that it is only the woman who gets physically abused, and the media does little to dispel this stereotype. While male on female physical abuse is often the more serious, and difficult to escape from, amazingly enough, it may not be the most prevalent.

Several studies report that there may be as many, or even more male partners experiencing abuse from their female partners as the reverse. A survey of 644 dating high school students by Henton, J., Cate, R., Koval, J., Lloyd, S., & Christopher, S in 1983 found that slightly over 12% of couples indicated physical abuse in their relationships, with even distribution between male and female initiation.

Another study, performed in Seattle in 2007 by Herrenkohl, T. I., Kosterman, R., Mason, W. A., & Hawkins, J. D showed that, of the 644 couples tested, 25% of women and 13% of men reported having perpetrated inter-partner violence. Median age of the participants was 24 years.

In still another study, this one performed by Hendy, H. M., Weiner, K., Bakerofskie, J., Eggen, D., Gustitus, C., & McLeod, K. C. in 2003 demonstrated similar results. In this study, 16% of men and 26% of women reported inflicting violence on their current romantic partner

This pattern does not seem to be restricted to the United States either. A 1999 study entitled “Domestic violence in Australia: Are women and men equally violent?” found that of the over 1,600 respondents in the study, 5.7% of men and 3.7% of women reported being victims of domestic assaults. While the Aussies seem to perpetrate domestic violence at a far lower rate than their American counterparts, the proportion of women to men victims remains relatively consistent. Shockingly, the Australian study reveals that more men than women needed medical treatment for their domestic injuries.

Any domestic violence situation is extremely serious, from a safety, family, and law enforcement perspective. If you are on the receiving end of an abusive relationship, even if you are the presumably stronger male member of the partnership, run, don’t walk away as fast as possible. While it’s possible things may change for the better, it’s just not worth the risk.

If you are on the giving end, get help now, you sick bastard, before it gets even worse.

Sign 2 – Emotional Abuse – See above….Just because you are not being physically harmed, you may be targeted emotionally by your partner. The threat of physical harm may even be used as part of this abuse, although the violence may, in fact, never materialize. Emotional abuse may take many forms, and may be consistent or intermittent with the partner promising to change their ways, and even doing so for a time. Some emotional abuse tactics include extreme jealousy, verbal abuse, threats, lies, broken promises, physical violence, emotional withholding, lack of intimacy, raging, sexual coercion, infidelity, power plays and control games.

Counseling and therapy may solve some of these issues, but in most cases the abuse is part of a pattern perpetrated by both parties. That is why so many people seem to move from one bad or abusive relationship to another. Counseling or some other form of intervention by a qualified professional is essential to keep this behavior from repeating itself. In many cases the root cause of this is prior emotional abuse suffered by the perpetrator, either in childhood, or in an earlier romantic relationship.

Sign 3 – Radically changing your appearance in an attempt to re-attract your partner. If you find yourself hitting the gym in attempt to look ripped, buying new wardrobes, or changing your hairstyle in order to keep her interested, you’re probably barking up the wrong tree. She should be attracted to you as a person, not your hairstyle, tattoos, or muscles. If you are severely overweight, losing weigh is probably a great idea just on health grounds, and it probably wouldn’t hurt your relationship either, but if you’re trying to look like a decathelete in the hopes she’ll love you again, it’s not a good idea. That is a sign of a good relationship gone bad, or a relationship that was bad from the beginning.

Sign 4 – You find yourself alienating your family and friends to try and please your girlfriend. Well, there’s always the possibility that your family and friends are thieving meth heads, and in that case alienating them would be a great idea. On the other hand, if she’s just driving a wedge between you and them as a manipulation tactic, wake up and smell the coffee!

Sign 5 – Your partner seems like she is unappreciative of anything you do. You clean the kitchen and she just yawns? Well, maybe it’s the only time you’ve ever done it! Honestly though, if that’s a pattern, not just an isolated incident it could spell trouble in your relationship. In many cases, you’ll try even harder to please her, the more she dismisses your efforts until she’s doing nothing more than taking advantage of you. If this sounds familiar, you need to examine what’s really going on, and whether staying in the relationship is the healthiest thing to do.

Sign 6- She seems like she is undermining you every chance she gets. If she seems like killing your dreams (under the guise of “bringing you back to earth” of course) is her favorite pastime, it is not going to get any better once you are married. You have to do an honest evaluation though. There is definitely nothing wrong with dreaming big; if you fail to dream big, you’ll never achieve greatness. However, if your dreaming gets in the way of you  actually achieving anything, especially day to day activities like work and school, that is not a positive trait, and she may have a valid point.

If your relationship shows any these signs, you need to seriously evaluate it ASAP. Proposing to your girlfriend if you are in one of these bad relationships will not make things any better. Many people get married every year even though they are not in good relationships, somehow thinking getting married will fix their problems, or that they can not get a more suitable partner. Don’t make that mistake. If you’re in a bad relationship, take steps to fix it at once, or get out now.

Tags: bad relationship signs