Propose To My Girlfriend

How long should you date before proposing? 6 months? A year? Two? There are many factors that go into that decision, and a tough one it is. Read on to discover some answers.

Many people wonder how long to date before proposing. Unfortunately there is no clear cut answer to this question. It would be great if one could just answer something like “2 years” and be right every time. However, there are almost as many answers to the question of how long to date before you get engaged as there are people asking it.

Here are some things to consider before you propose to your girlfriend. It is common for guys to ask too early, especially if it is their first real love experience. In many cases, this is a recipe for disaster. You should wait until you are sure you are both really in love with each other, and are compatible with a long life and raising a family together.

In the early stages of a relationship, it is easy to mistake your strong feelings for her for true love. However, you need to really get to know her and how she really is deep down inside before you make such a large commitment. In many cases those feelings you feel in the early stages of the relationship are more based on physical attraction than how you feel about her as a whole person. You need to see her at her best and at her worst before you can make the decision on weather it is time to propose to her or not. You also need to be sure that she is ready for such a step.

How would you feel about her if she was in an accident and acted the same as she does now, but was horribly disfigured? If you can truly state that you would feel the same way about her in that case as you do now, than you are well on your way to being ready to propose. The physical attraction is an important part of a relationship, but there is so much more you need to consider. You need to be sure you’re proposing for the right reasons to avoid catastrophe later in life.

In the majority of cases a few months is just not enough time for you to honestly and accurately determine how you feel about her. In that event, you should wait a while longer before proposing. If your feelings for each other are still as strong in a year or so, than you can reevaluate your relationship and possibly ask her to marry you.

The other extreme is waiting too long to propose. Many men like the status quo and can’t quite commit themselves to the idea of proposing. You have to admit, just dating does have it’s advantages. Many guys enjoy them to the extent they can’t get used to the idea of settling down, even if they are in a de facto committed relationship already. Well guys, in most cases she’s only going to wait for so long if she wants the relationship to escalate to the marriage stage. Men that are loving the “best of both worlds” lifestyle should think about the direction they want the rest of their life to take, and if this woman is really the one they want to spend the rest of their life with or not.

You have to take stock as to where you both are in your lives and if you are ready to commit to one person until you’re old and gray, and perhaps a few years beyond. How you both feel about having children is one extremely important aspect of the relationship that you need to look at before you can decide how long to wait before you propose. Do you both want kids right now? Does one of you really want them now and the other wants to wait a while first? Does one of you never want kids at all?

You feelings on having children does much to determine weather or you should propose to her now or wait. If you both want children and want to have them together in the relatively near future, well, it is getting close to proposal time. If one of you never wants to have kids and the other one really doesn’t want them, then you both want very different things out of a relationship. In that case, maybe marriage isn’t the right step for you to be taking with this person. If you both really want kids (with each other) but you are just not in total agreement on when you want to have them, those are just details that need to be worked out at a later time.

Your professional and academic careers need to examined as well. Are either of you still in school? Where are you in your professional careers? Proposing can put tremendous pressure on your relationship, especially if there are competing interests. If you’re both still in school working on degrees, or if one of you is out in the workforce while the other is working on their degree, creates a dynamic that needs to be factored in when you are looking at a time frame to propose.

What about your job or hers? Are you on a solid career path that could interfere with your decision to get married, or at least propose to your girl if you are sure she is really “the one”? Possible, but most likely not. There are too many examples of successful professionals that are married to think that you have to put off marriage to pursue careers. Perhaps you’ve noticed that the last few Presidents and the CEOs of most Fortune 500 corporations are married.

In reality though, there will always be pressures and competing interests in your lives that can create problems if you let them. It is your commitment (there’s that word again) to each other that will be the largest determining factor in your decision to propose.

Make sure you’ve given your relationship enough time to be sure that you are both the right people for each other. If you are young, such as in your late teens or early twenties, you should almost always wait a few more months, at least, before you propose. At that age you generally are not sure enough about what you really want in life, and who you really are yet. Hit the pause button for a while to be sure you are making the right decision. If she’s the right woman, she’ll still be there. If you wait only a few months and she’s gone, chances are she wasn’t the right girl anyway.

Remember, proposing marriage is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Take the time to make sure you are making the right decision. Speak to your parents and clergy for help. Discuss marriage before you ask her to get married, so you are both on the same page. Your overall goals need to be the same before you can think about getting married. If you’re young, you may not really know what your life goals are. Goal setting isn’t a strong suit for most people in their early 20′s.

If you’re a bit older, say late 20′s or early 30′s, you should be at the stage where you’re probably thinking about your life’s goals. There is a good chance you have been together for a while, maybe a few years or more. In that case it is time for a thorough evaluation. Look at the direction your life is heading. Do you realistically see yourself married to this woman in the future? Would you like to be? Does she feel the same way? If the answer is yes, and the two of you have similar life goals, it is probably time to think about proposing. If you have been dating for a couple of years at this point, you have probably been dating long enough.

No one can tell you for sure whether or not you have been dating long enough to propose to your girlfriend or not. Only you can make that decision. Just make sure you take a step back and look at things from the outside. Discuss marriage with her and decide where you truly want to be in life. Get input from parents, clergy, and maybe a few trusted friends. If you have been dating long enough and should be taking things a step up, start shopping for a ring.

Tags: how long to wait, proposing